In 1 Peter, we have been discussing the relationship that Christians should seek with their government, with their masters, and with people who give them ill-treatment. Now Peter gets to the application of the gospel to marriage:

1 Peter 3:1-7 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives - when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Wow, what an interesting text! At the very outset we see the integral importance of marriage to the Christian. In other words, God takes very seriously the roles that men and women play in marriage, and the way these roles are lived out shows what men and women think about God and about the gospel. Surely this is a difficult text for some people to accept. Some women will read Peter’s call for women to submit to a disobedient husband, and Peter’s mention of women as the “weaker vessel” as nothing less than male chauvinism. However, I think that this couldn’t be further from the truth, and that Peter (as well as Paul in other texts) actually exalts the role of women here. How and why is this so?

First, we must realize the biblical doctrine of submission. Christ submitted to His Father’s will as He uttered the words “nevertheless, not My will, but Thine be done.” I believe that there is a link between the submission of the Son and the way men and women interact. I believe this because in Genesis it is written “Let us make man in Our image,” and also, “male and female He created them.” There is something to the image of God with reference to the interaction and relationships that we have with each other. Also, not only the submission of Christ, but the submission of the Christian is something that is promoted and valued throughout the Scripture. Not only are Christians supposed to submit to the Word of God (this should be obvious), but they are to submit to their masters, to those who do them harm, and to their enemies. The whole idea of “the greatest among you will be the servant of all,” is central to the New Testament, and it is relevant here with reference to women. Christ here is inspiring Peter to write to women, and He is instructing women to take part in a submission which He knew intimately well, not as the submission of a woman to a man, but as the submission of a man to death on the behalf of the church.

It is only through this biblical understanding of submission that Peter’s call for women to submit takes on its powerful and freeing meaning. Women are the “weaker vessel,” physically, but spiritually Peter is telling them that through their submission God may use them to win their husbands. Here again, the principle is evident that those who submit are used of God. Why is this freeing? Because this is the role for which God created women. This role is no less valuable than the role of men, in fact, the role of women is just as integral to God’s plan as the role of men. This is not an issue of what sex is better, or who has more value, it is an issue of submitting to a God-given assignment. When these roles are lived out, it is “precious to God.” I love the language here of inner adornment. Peter is obviously not against gold or nice clothing, he simply is calling the woman to adorn herself on the inside. How does she do this, but fulfilling her role, just as a husband is to fulfill his role.

A word about the husbands who don’t obey. This is in accord with Peter’s argumentation thus far. Slaves, citizens, etc… are supposed to obey, even when there is animosity and ill-treatment. This does not mean that the wife is to partake of sin with the husband, or that she is to submit to abuse. Submission does not mean that the wife must sit silently while the husband disobeys God. I think that the “humble and quiet spirit,” means that there is room for the wife to tell the disobedient husband needs to repent. She may be the only one in his life who is such a guide to righteousness, and it may be years before he realizes it, but as this text tell us, she is an instrument of God and her husband may be “won without a word.”

This brings me to my favorite part of the text, “do not fear anything that is frightening.” At first I thought, what does that have to do with husbands and wives, but then it all made sense. There is much room for fear in the marriage relationship. The wife often fears for future provision (as Sarah did), and in the instance of a disobedient husband their is undoubtedly much fear. This get us back to what the marriage relationship is supposed to be. The man is supposed to be a guardian, a protector, a safe presence. When the man does not fulfill his role (Peter’s last command here) then the relationship is not what it is meant to be and fear enters. What is the woman to do here? She is not to fear anything frightening. This doesn’t mean that she needs to stay in the presence of physical abuse. What I am talking about is that she needs to trust God no matter how bad she thinks her husband is disobeying. She must remain as that witness of righteousness. It is interesting in our culture that if we feel that one partner of an agreement fails to deliver that the agreement is cancelled. Peter is saying the exact opposite here, marriage is not an agreement, it is a covenant that is based in the faithfulness of God. Thus, if a husband or a wife fails to do what they are supposed to do, it is not a free ticket to divorce, rather, it is a chance to emulate the covenant faithfulness of God.

There is much more in this text, but I’ve written too much already so I will stop for today. Please feel free to comment, especially if you disagree. One of the purposes of these meditations is discussion, and I am convinced that more learning takes place from conversations between differing opinions than from agreeing opinions. So if you think there is an issue, let me know. Let’s get at the truth of God’s word together.